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New Year, New Work

When I am Alone

As I mentioned before, I’ve begun a new fixation with pears.  They have shown up in some my paintings over the past couple of years, but this time they’re the main attraction.  I’ve been buying pears each time I go to the grocery store, and then I’ll come home and set them up on my kitchen table.  I’ll draw directly from observation, as well as take a ton of digital photos.  These photos were the source for this new set of drawings.   I took some photos during the day, and some at night, trying to create the right groupings, lighting and composition.

Only Child

As much of my other work, these explore family relationships.  However, instead of using people, I put pears as stand-ins for myself and others.   (The titles give a clue to what’s going on in each composition).   It’s funny that even my kids know which pear specifically represents them without me telling them.  Now I have dozens (maybe hundreds) of new reference photos, with all kinds of “people” in them, so there’s no telling how many drawings and paintings I’ll do in this series. 

Sisters

Through this process, I’ve discovered a renewed interest in drawing, specifically in charcoal.  I enjoy working really loose, and gradually building up rich, dark values.  Working in monochrome has been liberating, as I don’t have to worry about color.  It has been a good diversion from painting.  As I started back on some of my paintings today, I had a fresher outlook.  I found that my mind had shifted into a different kind of art-making, and helped me get back to painting with a new perspective.  Plus I think I came out with some interesting drawings, and I’m inspired to do even more.  

Glad You Found Me

 

I would love your comments!  If you want to leave a comment, please do so under the “Art Friends” tab at the top left of the screen.  I still haven’t figured out the bug with this blog template, and it won’t let my visitors use the ‘add a comment’ tab.  I’ve been too busy making art to fix the technical diffuculties.  Thanks -M

Portrait of the Artist

“One of the hardest things in the world is to see yourself objectively.  I’m not sure it’s even possible.”   

I recently (last week) decided to start doing at least one self-portrait every year.  I’ve only really done a few ”official” self-portraits in the past.   Of course, each work of art has my heart and soul in it, but there are some that are more personally reflective than others.  Let me share them with you.

Self-Portrait at 15

Here’s the earliest self-portrait I can find, made in August of 1988, when I was fifteen.  I hadn’t had a lot of artistic training up to that point, but I think I got a pretty good likeness.  At least that’s how I remember myself looking.  (Check out those bangs!)

I’ll continue by skipping the horrible self-portrait I did in college, the result of a class assignment.  A family member owns it now and will not let me take it back and destroy it.  Or at least paint over it.  If I have anything to do with it, that painting will NOT make it into the art history books.  It’s humiliating on so many levels.  

Self-Portrait 2001

Here’s a charcoal self-portrait I did several years back when I was teaching and my students were working on self-portraits.   I didn’t put a date on this drawing, but I’m pretty sure it was made in the fall of 2001, right after 9/11.  I was expecting my second child and had lots on my mind.  Maybe that explains the serious look.

Here’s something that started out as a self-portrait, but ended up not as an image of me, but a reflection of  how I felt at the time…

Ou est la joie de vivre? (progress)

Ou est la joie de vivre?

This was begun in 2006 (top), when I was going through a very difficult time in my life.  The title was always the same, “Ou est la joie de vivre?”  Translated from French to English, it means “Where is the Joy of Life?”  It’s also a play on words, because the collaged images that I used were taken from a wallpaper pattern called ‘Joie de Vivre,’   which shows families happily working and frolicking, just happy to be alive, I guess.  No worries in this ideal world.  I worked on this painting over the next three years, keeping the collaged elements, but at some point I took out my likeness and replaced it with a woman who is turned away from the viewer.  Possibly the journey in this painting is more valuable than the end product.  But I think that’s true for all of my work.

36, Self-Portrait 2009

Last year I made this 4×4 inch collage entitled “36″ that I consider my self portrait for 2009.  It’s definitely more lighthearted than some in previous years, thank goodness!

She Comes From Texas, 2009

This painting, although I wouldn’t consider it a self-portrait, has a lot of personal connections.  Also completed last year, ”She Comes from Texas”   uses the image of the Venus de Milo as the main subject.  The title comes from a collaged passage, located below her feet.  It is a quote Ernest Hemmingway, which I found in another book, written in the 1950s.  It says, “With us, if a girl is really beautiful, she comes from Texas and maybe, with luck, she can tell you what month it is.  They can all count good, though.  They teach them how to count, and keep their legs together, and how to put their hair up in pin curls.”

Obviously, the point here is the irony, but I think the quote hit a nerve with me.  Growing up in rural Texas, I often felt that I was viewed this way by the men and boys I grew up with.  In our small-town culture, the main way I saw males communicate with females was through teasing.   Most of it was light-hearted, but I tended to take things very personally, and really never felt very good about it.  I learned to smile, though.  As a matter of fact, one of my nicknames given to me from male coaches as a teenager was “smiley,”  (in addition to ”stubby” and “air head deluxe”).   I thought that most men thought I was pretty dumb.  Wonder why?  

Self-Portrait 2010

So here is my latest “self-portrait.”  I’ve been working on it for a few months, but just completed it yesterday.  There’s a lot going on here, but I think that is the perfect reflection of who I am right now.  There is charcoal, paint, furniture molding, computer keyboard parts, a playing card, and collaged wallpaper. The central figure doesn’t look anything like me, but I think she reflects confidence.  I’ve been growing in that this year.  Probably my favorite part of this is the blue square behind the girl’s head — it’s a Post-It Note.  Any mother or ambitious woman can relate to needing constant reminders, all over the place, all the time.   It’s definitely been one of those years for me. 

It will be interesting to see how my life, my style and my self-perception changes over the years.  I’ll keep you posted.

Crazymakers and Crazy Eyes

‎“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.

Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
-Scott Adams

I like my work best when I let myself be free and loose, and not getting too attached to what’s on the canvas at any given moment.   Sounds fun, but it really isn’t that easy to do.   I have to keep reminding myself “Don’t be afraid to mess up.  It’s just paint.”  To really make progress, I have to get into this certain frame of mind, where I’m immersed in the paint, and not really thinking about the outcome.  It’s a place of subconscious that I haven’t been able to explain…..until today.  

When I found this quote yesterday, I didn’t know who Scott Adams was, so I did a little research on him today.  Turns out, he’s the creator of the “Dilbert” cartoon. I checked out his blog (www.dilbert.com), and guess what he posted about today?   He talks about his theory that artists get “Crazy Eyes” when they’re in the creative ‘zone.’  You can read about it here.  http://www.dilbert.com/blog/entry/crazy_eyes/   Really funny stuff.

Yep, that’s a good way of explaining it — crazy eyes!  That “sort of glassy, unblinking, dreamy, scary look” when someone is lost in their own imagination.  I’ve never checked out my eyes in the mirror when I’m in that zone, but I can only imagine that they must look crazy.   I think my husband has noticed it.  He’ll say something like, “I can see your wheels turning.”  Usually, in a matter of minutes, I’m in my studio, with paint on my feet and in my hair. Fortunately, some of the paint lands on the canvases I’m working on as well.  

That makes me think about this painting that I finished this last month.  It’s inspired by a Crazymaker that I know (a term coined by Julia Cameron in “The Artist’s Way,” and not at all the same as Crazy Eyes).  This Crazymaker had been making quite a bit of crazy for me over the past several months, so this painting was my therapy to work through some frustrations.  I scraped on a background layer of color, then added some personal thoughts with charcoal.  The next part is kind of a blur, because I let myself just let go and not worry about how it came out.  I had nothing to lose.  This painting came together quickly and I couldn’t have created it if I had been trying.  I just let myself make some mistakes, and artfully chose the ones to keep.

Some trivia:  Scott Adams grew up in Windham, NY, and I grew up in Windom, TX.  Quite a serendipitous day.

The “add a comment” link below isn’t working, so please leave comments on the “Art Friends” tab, in the top left corner of the screen.  Thanks!

Nice Pear

I had a lot of fun playing around with a new media today.  Since I’ve noticed a lot of pears showing up in my work, I bought a bunch of fresh pears at the grocery store last night.  I thought it might inspire me.    Add the pears with several brand new bottles of brightly colored ink that have been awaiting the right day, and the inspiration was born!

Here’s one of the first sketches I made with charcoal.  I added color  with the ink, diluting it like watercolor.  Once it was dry, I used oil pastels, and later chalk pastels to outline, highlight, shade and add definition.

After doing a few of these, I started to loosen up a bit. I kept the washes pretty light and loose, adding salt for texture.  Here are some of the looser ones.

I have to include these two (below) because they made me laugh.  Some of the ink took quite a long time to dry, and when I moved the paper, the ink ran.  I knew that would happen, but I just wanted to play around and see what came of it.   The pears grew appendages.

When my daughter got home from school, she saw my “models” (to use her terminology) on the table.  She, too, thought they looked a lot like people.  She had an acorn and put it on the stem of one of the pears, telling me to make it look like a head.  So here’s the result of our creative collaboration.

These are all relatively small, done on 9 x 12″ watercolor paper.  You can see these and more on the “new works” tab at the top left of the screen.    You can leave comments on the “New Works” page or the “Art Friends” page, since the ‘add a comment’ link below doesn’t work.

Fall Colors

My favorite season….fall.

It has finally cooled off here– no more 100 degree heat.  The mornings are a little chilly, and the afternoons are warm with a cool breeze.  Amazing what that can do for your outlook.  Perfect weather to make some art!

Within the past few weeks, I’ve completed about two dozen new works of art, from tiny 4 x 4″ works, to larger paintings and mixed media pieces.  Some of them I started several months ago, and others I started and finished within a couple of days.  I wanted to share a couple of the “before” and “after” pics with you.

Here’s a photo of some ‘works-in-progress’ that I posted on my Facebook page back in July.  I had been having fun layering paint, spraying the wet paint and watching it run.  I didn’t really know where I was going with these paintings, but I like to work on top of a layered background anyway, so at least I had a starting point.

And here’s how they ended up–

This painting, “Home” started out as the painting on the far left (above).  As you can see, not much of the original underpainting is left, and the canvas was turned horizontally rather than vertically.  The layered underpainting did help create a jumping off point.  I started scraping layers of paint on top of it, and added layers of glazes for depth.  I was encouraged by my friend Robyn to do a larger version of ‘Home,’ as the first one was just 6 x 12.”  So this canvas seemed to be a good fit.I changed up the colors a bit, but I’m really pleased with how it came out.

This one started out as the painting in the center (top photo).  Again, not much of the original layers are showing.  I absolutely love the deep turquoise blue.  I don’t think the photo shows the colors very well — I may have to get one of my professional photo friends to help me out with a better shot.    It’s got a nice, glossy varnish on top that brings out the juicy colors.  I did a little writing in charcoal between the layers of paint, and that’s where this painting gets it’s title, “Give Yourself Freedom.”   I think I was listening to a Tivo’d episode of Oprah late one night, and got inspired by that phrase, which struck a chord with me, because I think much of what holds me back is not restrictions given by anyone else but myself.  Just in case you can’t tell, the white spot on the canvas is actually a keyboard piece that says ‘enter.’

As far as the third painting from the studio shot (the one with the figure in the top photo), it’s still a work in progress.  I think I’ve almost worked it to death.  We’ll see if it survives or gets reincarnated.

Work in progress

So, I’ve been working in my studio.  Earlier in the month I spent a great deal of effort fretting about what to make.  That’s really a bad state to be in.  Wanting to make art, but not knowing what to make.  Fortunately, I got myself together, and gave myself a reminder to just enjoy the act of making art.  Quit worrying about the outcome.  Then I let myself play. 

Before I knew it, I was brushing, scraping, spraying, glazing, running, layering, and gluing.    I made myself conscious of how the paint moved on the canvas.  I stuck my fingers in it, and it felt good! I watched it run as I sprayed water into the wet paint.  I saw the color change as I glazed over the yellow paint with a dull purple.  I set it aside and begin again on a new surface.   The monster had been unleashed.

Right now, I have four new large canvases and twelve new small ones in the works.   While I wait for the inspiration for a new image to hit, I continue to play.  Laying the foundation.  Painting layer after layer.  Building up texture.  Building up layers of meaning. Maybe the image I create when I am playing will be the end result, or maybe it won’t even be visible by the time I am done.  Who knows?   I have to trust my instincts and know that my subconscious is a better artist than I’ll ever be.